Raynor Family

David, Sara, Gavin and Rachel

Written June 2020

by Sara Raynor

I'm excited to be more involved in this community and helping Jill with the FEATT newsletter, website and Facebook. I figured for my first family spotlight, I would introduce my family.

We love Roseburg and we are happy we can raise our kids in this community. David and I were both diagnosed with ADHD as adults. David has been working from home since 2019 as a Data Center Analyst. He has a special interest in assistive technologies so he will be helping me add some technology content in the newsletter and on Facebook. He helps organize a Roseburg Tech meet-up that is working with UCC and Umpqua STEAM Hub to help people find educational resources and work from home so that we can keep tech people in Douglas County. I work from home part-time and homeschool my children. I am also involved in 4H and the Umpqua STEAM Hub. Rachel is 10 and Gavin is 7.

Rachel is a regular at Sibshops and Gavin has SPD, ASD, ADHD and Cognitive Speech Delay. Rachel is an awesome big sister and we are so proud of how patient and kind she is to her brother. She is awesome with any ages of kids and likes to be a helper. She is artistic and creative. She likes to decorate cakes and participates in Girls Who Code and 4H STEAM Club. I definitely struggled with some mom guilt about having to give more attention to Gavin, once he showed some delays and challenges. Rachel has been understanding and we try to make special time for her so she doesn't feel less important. She has definitely benefited from Sibshops and can't wait for the next one. Rachel has shown some signs of ADHD but compensates well because of her personality and advanced language skills, so it's hard to get outside help for her.

Sometimes it's hard to balance Rachel's social needs with Gavin's preference for quiet and isolation. Over time I have learned that what "balance" looks like is an ebb and flow of opportunities, and taking time to recover. 

We knew Gavin had challenges since he started speaking at 13 months, but then, suddenly stopped wanting to communicate. He would be extra sensitive to sounds and reactive to certain kinds of lighting, but he sought touch sensory input by always leaning on us, or anybody really (it's good people thought he was cute, but still embarrassing when he would lean on strangers.) We rearranged our whole life to help him cope and try to meet his needs. 

We had Gavin evaluated through Early Intervention. They helped him with occupational therapy and speech services, and also gave us a lot of encouragement and tools to help him at home. Social Stories and communication boards really helped him until it all kind of clicked with him and he started speaking again. He still has challenges with social cues and sensory sensitivities, but has more tools to help him now. As he aged out of EI, his teacher was very supportive of us homeschooling him. 

Gavin is thriving in home school. He loves reading nonfiction, but recently got into the Captain Underpants books. He is very gifted in math and is a year ahead of his grade. He loves the outdoors, especially hikes in the woods. He loves to play Minecraft with his sister and Starcraft with his dad. He is naturally cautious and even though he has a lot of energy, he is hesitant with any new things or anything that looks dangerous. Transitions are hard, but routines and predictable events are great. He really enjoys checking his calendar and knowing about things in advance. 

Gavin takes a lot of cues from his sister, so it has benefited him to have an older sibling to model his behavior after. We try to surround ourselves with positive, grounded people that accept us the way we are, so Gavin doesn't really know or care that he learns and thinks differently. He is a joyful person who loves to give hugs and tell jokes. He memorizes a new joke each week to tell his speech therapist. 

Our goal, as parents, is to help our children find their niche in life. My mom always said, "There is a place for everyone in this world." It is exciting to learn the talents and interests of each child and help them develop them into a skill or profession. 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. I would love to interview you or your family about your experiences and challenges. We would also love to hear about your child’s achievements and any other news you want to share with the FEATT community. Reach out to me on Facebook or by email.